NanoFate Plus Yuuno Equals What?
by OZ7UP
Summary: Written after reading several anti-YuuNoFa responses to Kaijo's "MGLN Crisis". Romantic NanoFate with a happy ending, will definitely satisfy all save for you-know-who-you-are. Rated "M" for themes. Crack. I know that the title sucks.


_A/N: Yeah, kinda wrote this on a whim after I saw Kaijo's brilliant "MGLN: Crisis" got slammed for featuring a YuuNoFa relationship. Not that Kaijo or F91 have endorsed this fic, but yeah, I'd like to let them know that I've got their backs._

**Disclaimer: I don't own MGLN. 7Arcs does. Oz is an OC that I created just for the purpose of this fic, but I might end up using him in any other cross-over one-shots. Eukrante is a character in the Busou Shinki franchise.**

* * *

Fate Testarossa Harlaown, Enforcer for the Time-Space Administration Bureau's Naval Forces, was feeling ecstatic. Prior to leaving for a solo administrative mission, the blonde had been playing "Truth Or Dare" at one of Hayate Yagami's parties, and had admitted her crush on one particular Nanoha Takamachi. Unsurprisingly to everyone save for Fate, the brunette had responded to the confession by placing her own lips over the blonde's, and by promising to go on a date with her as soon as the mission was over.

Now that said mission was over, the Enforcer was looking forward to her date with the Ace of Aces, and was busy pondering what to wear, what to say, what to do, and how to get more kisses from the lovely blue-eyed angel.

"Enforcer Harlaown?" A dialogue screen flashed into existence, startling Fate out from her thoughts. "We've got a situation over here. We are approaching Mid-Childa, but we have yet to receive any responses from the ground crew."

"That's weird," the blonde mused. "Just beam me down to the terminal so that I can investigate the situation. I'm pretty sure you are in a rush as well, isn't that right, Captain Kaijo?"

The captain of the dimensional cruiser chuckled. "Yeah, I've got to shuttle someone else over to some sort of meeting revolving around the latest F91 Raiser weapons system. Do take care down there, will ya?"

* * *

At the same moment, a wormhole opened near Mid-Childa, depositing a small cruiser that, when looked at from above, resembled a v-shaped guitar. Looking at the bigger ship transmit a beam towards the planet, the pilot sighed and looked at his companion.

"Eukrante?"

"Yes, Oz?"

"Are the repairs on Shiny complete?"

"Ages ago, and with the necessary upgrades installed as well."

"Brilliant."

"Damn right!"

* * *

The instant she had touched down at the terminal in Cranagan, Fate was left without any doubt that there was a serious problem upon seeing the entire place devoid of life. Tightening her grip on Bardiche, the blonde stepped out of the complex only to find naught but total chaos.

It was a complete ghost town. The streets were empty, save for plenty of unattended vehicles left haphazardly on the road. A quick inspection of several blocks in the shopping district did not prove promising. As the thought of everyone being missing began to set in, Fate's eyes immediately opened wider than ever.

"NANOHA!"

* * *

As the guitar-shaped mini cruiser flew over the planet, the pilot could only shake his head as his sensors indicated a lack of life throughout the entire planet.

"Man, what kind of sick, twisted bastard would do this to an entire planet? I just don't get it at all, Eukrante."

The pilot's companion, who was busy making yet more adjustments to a sword-shaped pendant, snorted. "It's probably some nerdy little 35-year-old mama's boy who's trying to fulfill some fantasy of his. Damnit, Oz! You shouldn't need to ask me those things because, age of the culprit aside, that is what's going on right now, and you know it!"

"Geez! It was just a rhetorical question! Whatever, just finish up what you're doing to Shiny and set the Alavon down by that small military base. I'm detecting two bio-signatures in that area, and there's a third one heading towards it."

* * *

Blue eyes opened slowly, as though the owner of said eyes was waking up from a long sleep. Pushing herself off the ground, Nanoha looked around her bedroom where she was with Vivio and Zafira. The look of relief upon seeing a slowly-stirring blue wolf immediately changed into a look of concern as the brunette realized that her adoptive daughter had disappeared.

"Zafira! Wake up! Vivio's missing!"

Upon hearing the words, the Guardian Beast suddenly snapped into full attention. Despite being a male, Zafira did like to think of himself as an honorary mother towards the clone of the last Sankt Kaiser, and the thought of Vivio missing was more than enough to send him into an angry rage.

"Who would dare do such a thing?" There was no mistaking the bloodlust in the wolf's voice. "I swear, whoever did this is going to be torn apart by my Steel Yoke!"

"Vivio's missing? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, considering that Cranagan is completely deserted." Both Nanoha and Zafira turned to face Fate, who had just walked into the bedroom. "I'm sorry, Zafira, but you will need to take a queue number, right after Nanoha and myself." Scratching the wolf behind his ears, the Enforcer proceeded to describe the nastiest possible ways to deal with the perpetrator. "And, if you promise to behave, we'll make sure that you'll have the remains to play with."

"That's nice and all," Nanoha muttered, "but how are we going to find Vivio?"

"I believe I can help you with that, ladies," a lazy Australian-accented drawl came out from the doorway. "I have deduced that the perp I currently have an arrest warrant for is responsible for the disappearance of not just the citizens of Cranagan and," the voice paused to create a bit of an effect, "Vivio Takamachi, but the entire population of Mid-Childa itself."

Three voices spoke at once. "Who are you?"

"Ah, right, my bad." A lean-looking youth of oriental ancestry stepped into the room, followed by what appeared to be a redhead unison device dressed in a purple and black skintight suit. "I'm Agent Oz of the Inter-Dimensional Anti-Prejudice Police. This is my unison device and colleague, Eukrante. Please excuse my current casual attire," Oz gestured towards his outfit, which consisted of a pair of board shorts, a tight shirt, and a pair of slippers, "but I do believe that presenting a human face is valuable whenever I reach out to those who need help, and I was on vacation when this came up."

"Do you know who did this?" Nanoha had activated Raising Heart, and was looking particularly vicious.

"Yeah, I do." Several screens flashed into existence, showing what appeared to be a bespectacled nerdish male. "Meet the terrorist known only as CK. Back in his dimension, all of you are characters in an anime-slash-manga franchise, and quite a lot of the franchise's fans started believing that there was something romantic going on between Fate and yourself." Pausing as Fate gave Nanoha a thorough kiss to calm the brunette down, Oz watched the scene alongside Eukrante and Zafira with some amusement. "Now that we have gotten that out of the way, some of the aptly-named NanoFate fans, in one of the most fucked-up cases of self-delusion I've ever seen, came to believe that such a relationship is official in the franchise despite the lack of any official endorsement. As such, whenever someone else in the fandom writes a story which pairs up one of you with, let's say, Yuuno, these so-called purists would go on a destructive rampage."

"Simply put, the moderate, open-minded NanoFate fan clubs contacted the I.D.A.P.P. Force and asked for assistance to get rid of those who were giving them a bad name, and I happen to be the only Agent available to take up the job. As for how CK is involved in this mess, after having read a story which didn't have the ending he desired, he came across the means to remove everyone he felt would be a threat to his much-desired NanoFate pairing. In other words, he didn't want anyone around to distract Nanoha Takamachi and Fate Testarossa Harlaown from each other."

Zafira spoke up. "Then why am I still here?"

"Probably because he doesn't believe you to be a threat? After all, you have been seeing Arf quite a lot lately, right?"

Fate was the first to react to the information. "That's horrible! Surely these purists, as you call them, should know not to take what goes on in here seriously, given that we are nothing but mere fictional characters to them." The blonde suddenly gasped. "Is Yuuno missing as well?"

Eukrante spoke up. "I'm sorry, Enforcer Harlaown, but it appears that CK forced Mr Scrya into his ferret form before killing and stuffing him."

"Indeed," Oz said, with his head bowed, "not exactly the best way to go out. Personally, I think Yuuno would have done wonders with either of the two of you, ladies. Not that I have anything against a girl-on-girl relationship – I actually do find it pretty hot, and I am a NanoFate fan myself, but nobody has the right to play God with people's relationships. After all, what will be, will be."

Before Nanoha could react to the fate of her very first magical friend, Raising Heart summed up the mood of the three TSAB members in the room.

[Master, can I be reconfigured so that your Starlight Breaker attack can cause physical damage?]

"Save it, I've got a much better plan in mind that will make CK wish he was actually up against a full-powered Blaster 3 Divine Buster." Taking a pendant that resembled Signum's Laevatein, Oz grinned at the rest of the room's occupants. "What are you waiting for? Shiny, SET UP!"

[You got it, boss,] a mischievous female voice came out from the pendant as it reformed itself into a shining katana, [Barrier Jacket, Exceed Mode!] A flash of grey light was emitted, leaving Oz clad in jeans, a pair of low-cut boots, and a black jacket.

"Let's do this."

* * *

The person known only as CK was having the time of his life recalling the actions that he had taken earlier. Using technology obtained from the founder of the Danbooru image-hosting site, the self-proclaimed purist was able to cross dimensions and enter Mid-Childa, where he had proceeded to transport the entire population away to a hidden location back in his dimension, save for Nanoha, Zafira, and Yuuno. While the Guardian Beast was fortunate enough to be left alone, CK had really enjoyed tormenting the librarian. Without even considering the possibilities that both Nanoha and Fate might have had feelings for the ferret-changling, the purist took sick pleasure in squeezing the ferret's fragile neck before hearing the sound of a neck breaking.

Reveling in his memories, the NanoFate purist looked over at where an unconscious Vivio was currently tied up to a chair. CK knew that the Sankt Kaiser clone was not biologically related to the Ace of Aces and, in his twisted mind, felt that the temptation was there for the two to fall into a forbidden relationship. On the other hand, though, if he could just age Vivio into her teenage form…

The purist was so caught up in his fantasies that he had failed to notice a glowing pink orb behind him.

* * *

[Inter-Dimensional Wide Area Search successful.]

"Raising Heart," Nanoha called out, "open visuals, NOW!" Taking in the sight of the contents of the display screens, the brunette started to crush the staff portion of her now-active Device.

[Master, you are hurting me.]

"I'm sorry, Raising Heart, but I don't like the way that creep is looking at my daughter!"

Before Raising Heart could respond, Oz suddenly let out a triumphant yell. "Alright! I've got a lock on his location! Sending you the coordinates now!"

As Nanoha, Fate, and Zafira scrambled for the teleportation chamber, Eukrante floated over to the Agent. "So, what's the location?"

Oz facepalmed. "You remembered what you said about CK potentially being a mama's boy?" Seeing the grin on his unison device's face, he groaned. "Right, I've just found the Mid-Childans. Let's go rescue them before joining the others."

* * *

  
Needless to say, with the sight of CK holed up with Vivio in the basement of his parents' house, ass-kicking of the nth-degree, as given by Nanoha and her two friends, took place while Oz, with the aid of both Eukrante and Shiny, freed the inhabitants of Mid-Childa. After ensuring that the planet was back to the way it was supposed to be, the Agent, in unison with his partner, returned to where the ass-kicking was currently happening, and proceeded to up its intensity from the nth-degree to the "Divide-by-zero"-degree.

* * *

As this was going on, moderate NanoFate fans embraced each other with joy as their fandom was no longer tainted by the so-called "purists", while said so-called "purists" suddenly shuddered as one upon realizing that something bad was about to happen.

* * *

"So, what did you do to CK?"

"Well," Oz drawled as he turned to face both Nanoha and Fate as they were walking back towards the Alavon, "imagine the following scenario: three sweaty, overweight geeks in their mid-thirties in a small room, all feeling very amorous, and one twitching, slightly burnt, but still very alive CK." Seeing the shudders running through the two Aces, the Agent could not help chuckling. "Sorry for the mental image, but we did have to find some way to punish the guys who ran the Danbooru image internet site on CK's world for their involvement in the incident, and the I.D.A.P.P. Force can be quite cruel with its punishment methods."

"Anyway," Oz continued, "I'm really sorry about what happened to Yuuno. From what I know of him, he was a good guy, and what CK did to him was just too cruel. I suppose the two of you, at one point or another, have had crushes on him, right?" Seeing Nanoha and Fate nod sadly, a grin started appearing on his face, and proceeded to grow wider. "I won't tell you about the logistics, but I contacted Yuuno's spirit just shortly after arresting CK. He did have feelings for the both of you at the time of his passing, but did not regret standing by the side to watch the two of you fall in love. That said, he did suggest a way for the two of you to remember him by."

"How?"

Oz's grin grew even wider as Eukrante showed up carrying a package, using strength that belied her small size. "What I've got over here is Yuuno's body. His spirit has given my partner the go-ahead to make it suitable for you to remember him by in the bedroom. Hope you enjoy it." Handing over the package to Nanoha, the Agent prepared to board the Alavon. "I'm heading off now. Apparently, Harry Potter has just been betrayed, again, and I'm supposed to rescue him from Azkaban. Take care of Vivio, will ya?"

After watching the small space cruiser fly off into parts unknown, Nanoha slowly opened the package, with Fate looking by next to her. Inside the package was Yuuno's stuffed ferret form, completely cleaned up and repaired, with something attached to it. "The next time we see Oz and Eukrante," Fate muttered as she looked at the attachment, a deep blush growing on her face, "remind me to set them up with Hayate and Rein as a return favor."

* * *

**_More A/N: Yeah, the next time you think about flaming a non-NanoFate pairing featuring either one of the two, do remember - we readers do not appreciate it when you read something you dislike just to call us out for it._**


End file.
